Spring!

heeeeeeeee...ahhhhhh -thats me taking a deep breath in of sweet relief!

that's right! today is the last day of winter, atleast by the calendar!

i am so excited.
There is nothing worse than when that last October leaf is hanging on for dear life and you have the realization of knowing that there are 5 months to go of winter weather cold, dreary never ending days that hang and never change.

Today is ugly dark and very wet. But i feel great despite, knowing that spring, sunny, warm, new days await. It's a good feeling

yesterdays blog....

ug...

i feel ridiculous now. I think my hormones were just all over the place yesterday, well maybe the past week or so actually.

my problems were are so unimportant. i need to quite my "complaining'!"

a girl who has the worst luck with the male species is on my mind..

i was married at 19

another woman woke up 2 sundays ago to find her husband in be next to here seizing.. he couldnt breathe and they couldnt bring him back. she's a mother of four kids and now feels so abandoned and hopeless, i cant even imagine having that heartbreak!

here i am with my husband whos so healthy, and wakes up next to me with more energy then i would like. i dont want to be the one taking for granted...

there are so many people around us right now, coincidently that are going through really rough times in their lives, and here I am spoiled, sitting at home with my family in warmth and health, nothing at all thats going wrong in ourlives, and i feel sort of guilty and bad about this.

Perhaps I'm just used to all those years in the beginning, of drama and heartache and all that, that when things are going super smooth it feels wrong?? Is that nuts or what??

I guess we all go through our ups and downs, mountains and valleys..

good days and bads!

I NEED TO HOLD MORE GRATITUDE.

I have so many things to be thankful!
I am so blessed!

Maybe watch the local/world news more often so i can realize that all i do is think within my head all day, and realize that i truly am spoiled.
I pace in my home safe warm and quiet with a beautiful healthy baby in my arms.

my kids upstairs snug with their stuffed animals in a dreamy state.

we all are healthy, are cupboards are full, we have a cool van that's fun to cruise around in, we have a doggie, each other and love. what more can i ask for? i have everything i've ever wished for.

why do i have to have those days where i am so unhappy.

i know..

read the bible more..

pray more

talk to god more..

inner dialogue: establish a routine of having more healthy dialogue within my head, like theresa says and it's in the bible " take every thought captive "....

ok well thats my wee ramblings this hour.

i need to be "more consistent!"

Bring on the sunshine

wormy morning smell

foggy missty mornings

dirty hands and mucky boots

all things growing anew!