Free to Succeed Tour!

it doesnt show but there was internal spontaneous combustion of excitinment within me
Shawn asking for some hubby/shooting tips?
where are the monkeys?

Well... our 5th anni was the 23rd. and we spent it together the 25th on our way to the Free To Succeed Tour put on by David Jay ft Jasmine Star.
I am so thankful we were able to go and it was the first time we had been away together really since our honeymoon.
It was the strangest thing though to not have three kids in the back of the car competing for your attention!
Its such a gloomy day, I'm feeling overtired and I feel bad I am blogging right now but everyone is alseep at the
moment and this is my opportune time!
Jasmine Star was so refreshing. I immediately fell head over heels in love with her, she made me laugh so much,
she was genuine and hilarious and really got my passion revved. ANd if you are wondering, yes i chickened out
and I was my usual reserved shy self. But also I've been extremely sleep deprived, and some other stressor
have come about in our lives that have been kind of zapping our energies and I know that neither Shawn or I were
completely ourselves!
But yes Jasmine is just so lovable. AND SHE HUGGED ME! You know im not a hugger, but i loved her hug! It was special!
I even did that goofy squeely thing as when we got there an hour early we checked out where the place was
before we had to get some grub in our bellies.. the elevator door opened and shawn stepped out, and stepping in was JD ( J*'s hubby!)
Yeah, i was suprised and squealed the
( I know you-kind of-sort of-from your wifes blog-back to jr high backstreet boy squeal.. yeah I soo did.)
And I'm 25 and a mother of three!
It was a blast though, I felt a little more like me for a while. When you have kids, life is just so
go go go fast fast fast, everyone competeing life just is on fast forward and i rarely get alot of time
to just think really. It was so nice to have complete uninterrupted, non fragmented thoughts.. and breathing,
i got to breath, i wasnt a nurse, referee, chef for one night! ROCK ON!
Jasmine talked alot about how to brand yourself. ANd in all she had to say I realized I know nothing of me.
weird I know, but i dont, a whirwhind of a hurtful childhood, I was always a camelion, wanting to be whatever I could see someone
wanted me to be, so they would be happy with me, and i wouldnt recieve their rejection,
I've never really had a chance to be me. And I really dont know who I am.
The good news is this.
Shawn and I just rededicated our lives to Christ. I am going to learn who i am and need to be in identifying myself in Christ.
Keep It Real is what J* said. I have alot of obstacles to overcome: I am passive. Not a take charge girl.
But i will earn to be, she said to figure out who you are as a person and then infuse that into your photography so
in the next few weeks, that is my goal, im reading a ton when i can, praying, and just finding out what i like,
why it is i like it, embracing that and then bringing that into my new career.. PHOTOGRAPHER!
Also, on the way home we popped on a Pennslyvania christian radio station and I heard Natalie Grant's In Better Hands,
I've heard it a few times before, but i actually was like forced to listen to the words, and with thinking of all i had learned at the
seminar and the words how it all tied in, it was like a message from the big guy, its cool how there is so
double meanings in it all, and you can learn so much.
I went to learn alot of how i want to run my business coming in 2009, but also it so applied to my christian walk.
and i bawled.. i was crying so hard. I had fought it for so long, choking tears back for months no,
all the pain and confusion that have been brought about this year, it all came about and i finally broke, one can only be so strong for so long.
Shawn pulled off the highway and we got out and he just held me for so long, no words,
just his arms and it was so overdue, so needed.. and I am thankful..
and im thankful for Shawn.. my nascar driver,
dropping an $85.00 dinner.. yeah like whoa! thats a months worth of formula for maive,
or 2 months of diapers.. ah well, it was so worth it! I wish I could meet DJ, Becker, J*, Kenny Kim again.. they seem so fun, nice, genuine, everything that we're lacking here in the Binghamton NY!
ah well!
Maybe we should be the change? Thanks for reading! any encouragement from what you've read, or confirmation would be greatly appreciated. I love feedback..
i am going to work on my site: http://www.juliegendron.com/.. because really, its kind of lame!
'o)